For what seemed like years (perhaps months…I’m being dramatic), I had been stuck in a funk, or a seemingly permanent low tide in life. It seemed as if whatever I wanted out of life was always out of reach. No matter how hard I tried to drive the life I so desperately wanted in the direction of my choice; I was always stuck in second gear, while fighting the acute pull to drive off the road from a blown-out tire.
I was convinced the universe was somehow conspiring to punish me for some unimaginable deeds I had committed in a past life. I was convinced that I had somehow so egregiously offended the universe that, in a sick and tormented way, whatever powers governing the universe were teasing me with false hopes and oases that never seemed to come to fruition.
I had studied so hard, worked so hard, and had always treated people well, but like a mirage on a highway, my hopes and dreams disappeared as I rushed towards them at 80 miles per hour.
I was broken, unemployed, and had been recently heart-broke by a tormenting relationship marked with unrequited love. Worse than anything I didn’t feel like going on. I didn’t want to exist. I wanted all of it, and me, to disappear.
If my life was a musical composition I felt as if I were fast reaching the end. The coda was on the horizon, but I was once again wrong, and nothing but an intro lie before me.
Recently the tides came back in and with their return, all of the negative energies, false hopes, and feelings of not belonging in this world were washed away.
I’m suddenly awash with joy, abundance, success, good fortune, and a love I never imagined could have existed. I was cleansed and I am now in complete and utter bliss.
I’m in love! I’m in joy! I’m the luckiest man in the world! – I actually catch myself saying this when I wake up.
Most importantly I love myself. My self-esteem is back, I feel a sense of pride in my life. I’m walking with a little swagger. One of my best friends Minnesota Nick, recently commented that I was back to my old shiny self. That same shiny self, who previously had superpowers and was game for impromptu fun road trips.
On top of feeling great about myself, I met a wonderful, beautiful, kind, and loving woman; the kind of woman I never knew existed – the kind of woman my father told me to look for (for years, I never took his advice) and, now I find myself madly in love.
As if life couldn’t get any better, I’m in the process of building a company on the side, and am now being recruited for jobs that more than tripled what I had made at my previous job. (Not that I care too much about money, but I find myself astounded by the change in fortune). I’m networking and meeting the most amazing people…all of them with inspiring stories of their own.
I’m filled with a gratitude for every breath I’m allowed to breathe. Everything is gravy, and I feel invincible.
So what happened? In the shortest of times, a blink of an eye, or two shakes of a lambs tail, my entire life changed. I feel at one with the universe, and I have a deep and unshakeable faith that whatever obstacle lying in front of me I can surmount.
Is it that I attracted a wealth of abundance? (Did me watching “The Secret” actually work?) Or is it that I am experiencing profound gratitude? Is it a change in life perspective? Or is it a little of all three?
I don’t care. I’m not going to question what’s happened. Normally, I’d try to analyze my life to bits and pieces in my posts…reducing it to decipherable chunks, but not this time. I’m just going to accept my good fortunes with gratuity, and let those that have always been by my side supporting me, in one way or another, know I love them for all that they are.
Thank you everyone for making my life a beautiful composition. Thank you universe for finally throwing me a bone. I promise not to take it, or anyone, for granted ever again.